David Barlett

David Barlett, King of the Evil Dark People, an evil, fat blonde pig (who doesn't have a purple axe, which is weird considering he had a rainbow sword!) who has a disease that makes him slowly, slowly lose his hair, leaving a massive bald patch at the top of his head. He has a thick, mysterious, evil, Scottish accent! He explains that he will not spread SCONE-1928 if the heroes find the cure for his disease.

He has a range of tattoos on his face, including the name of his ex, Vanessa Barlett, on his nose.